Metacognition: The Superpower You Didn’t Know You Had

By David Wetherelt

Founder, Like Minds Alliance

For years, I navigated life mostly by reacting to it. Sometimes I acted brilliantly, other times I felt overwhelmed. Like many neurodivergent individuals, I didn't realize I could choose how to experience my thoughts. I assumed they just happened, and that the internal chaos was mine to endure.

Then, I discovered metacognition—the ability to think about my thinking. It changed everything for me.

What Is Metacognition?

Metacognition may sound complex, but it refers to a powerful skill. It means being aware of your thoughts. More importantly, it allows you to regulate them by planning, monitoring, or adjusting how you learn, decide, or act.

Psychologist John Flavell, who coined the term in the 1970s, broke it down into two parts:

• Metacognitive knowledge: What you know about your own thinking processes.

• Metacognitive regulation: How you control those processes while doing a task.

  
  

This skill isn't just for philosophers or scientists; it's one that everyone can benefit from—even those who may not realize it yet. For neurodivergent individuals, it is a critical tool for surviving and thriving in a world that often doesn't match our needs.

Why Metacognition Matters for the Neurodivergent Mind

People with Autism, ADHD, and other forms of neurodivergence may think in patterns that are nonlinear, intensely focused, or emotionally sensitive. These traits can be beautiful but can also lead to feelings of overwhelm, exhaustion, and low self-worth.

Metacognition offers a lifeline. It provides a way to understand, honor, and work with your brain, rather than continuously fighting against it.

Scenario 1: The ADHD Time Trap

Imagine you have ADHD. You sit down to write a paper or complete a task. Suddenly, you're deep in a rabbit hole of YouTube videos or reorganizing your closet instead of working.

A neurotypical brain might easily pause and redirect attention. However, with ADHD, the executive functioning network, particularly in the prefrontal cortex, often struggles with self-monitoring.

This is where metacognition becomes essential. Instead of labeling yourself as lazy or broken, you reflect with questions like, “What’s happening right now?” “Am I avoiding something hard?” or “What has worked for me in the past?”

This newfound awareness enables you to use strategies like the Pomodoro technique, body-doubling, or writing a list of micro-steps. You're not “fixing” your ADHD; you’re just navigating it more effectively.

Research Insight: A 2011 study in the Journal of Attention Disorders found that adolescents with ADHD who were taught metacognitive strategies showed improved academic performance and greater self-regulation compared to peers receiving only behavioral instruction. (Evans et al., 2011)

Scenario 2: Autistic Social Overload

Many autistic individuals report feeling socially exhausted—especially in environments that demand constant masking or navigating vague expectations.

One of my Like Minds clients, Matt (not his real name), told me that after a single hour-long meeting, he felt like he’d “run a marathon with no shoes.” His nervous system was fried from decoding facial expressions, adjusting tone, and remembering unspoken rules.

By cultivating metacognitive awareness, Matt began checking in with himself during social situations. He would pause mentally and ask himself:

• “Am I getting overloaded?”

• “Is this situation requiring masking?”

• “Can I script a graceful exit and take a break?”

  
  

This process didn’t mean he was avoiding social interactions. Instead, it helped him choose more wisely and plan for recovery time afterward.

Research Insight: A 2020 study in Autism found that autistic adults who frequently engaged in masking and camouflaging behaviors experienced higher levels of exhaustion and anxiety. Metacognitive reflection assisted them in developing healthier coping strategies. (Cage et al., 2020)

Thinking about thinking

Metacognition as a Form of Self-Advocacy

Understanding your brain’s operating system empowers you to:

• Plan tasks more strategically (e.g., “I’ll need a quiet environment and caffeine for this.”)

• Monitor stress before it escalates into shutdown or meltdown.

• Ask for accommodations with confidence (e.g., “I work best with written instructions and visual reminders.”)

• Reframe setbacks as experiments in progress, rather than failures.

  
  

This skill is more than just a productivity tool; it’s a vital survival skill.

How to Build Metacognitive Muscles

Like any other skill, metacognition requires practice. Here are several ways to strengthen your metacognitive capabilities:

1. Journaling

Reflect daily using prompts such as:

• What went well today? What didn’t?

• What did I think would happen vs. what actually happened?

• What helped me stay regulated or focused?

  
  

2. IFS (Internal Family Systems) & Parts Work

Part of our coaching at Like Minds involves identifying the “parts” of you, such as the inner critic or the exhausted manager. Naming these voices allows you to reflect on their thoughts and patterns with compassion and curiosity.

3. Breath + Pause

When your nervous system is activated, pause and take five slow breaths. Then, ask yourself: “What am I thinking right now?” “Is this thought helpful?” “Is there a better one I can choose?”

4. Mind Mapping

For visual thinkers, creating mind maps can help you explore thoughts and tasks. This technique allows you to step outside the chaos and see your thinking more clearly.

5. Peer Coaching

Sometimes, we need a mirror. Talking to another neurodivergent person who understands can help you see yourself more clearly and adopt new strategies with lower levels of shame and more creativity.

The Takeaway

Metacognition isn’t just for academics or therapists; it’s a fundamental feature of the human mind. Neurodivergent individuals can learn to access, strengthen, and celebrate this ability. Understanding our thinking enables us to move from being reactive to being intentional.

We transition from being passengers in our minds to conscious co-pilots.

Want Help Strengthening Your Metacognitive Skills?

At Like Minds, we offer 1:1 coaching for neurodivergent adults and youth. Our program combines lived experiences with science-backed tools. Together, we’ll help you understand your brain, honor your energy, and create a life that fits you.

Let’s explore your thoughts—together.

Contact me: david@likemindsalliance.org to schedule a free 20-minute discovery session.