STTH: The Surprisingly Smart Productivity Hack for AuDHD Brains

Why “Stop Trying Too Hard” Might Be the Best Advice You’ve Never Heard By David Wetherelt | Like Minds Alliance

Taped to my laptop screen are four letters: STTH.

They look like a genetic code or maybe a startup name that hasn’t launched yet. But for me—and maybe for you—they’re the most powerful productivity advice I’ve ever discovered:

Stop. Trying. Too. Hard.

Counterintuitive, right? Especially in a culture that celebrates the grind, the hustle, the 5 a.m. club, and the myth that peak productivity is just one motivational podcast away.

But here’s the deal: I have AuDHD—a late-life diagnosis of both Autism and ADHD—and trying too hard is exactly what burns me out, stalls my momentum, and traps me in paralysis.

The Problem with Productivity When You’re Wired Differently

For decades, I thought my struggle to be consistently productive meant I was broken. Lazy. Disorganized. Unreliable. I wore my shame like a second skin. I’d go through bursts of obsessive productivity—only to crash for days afterward. I never understood why until I finally got the right diagnosis: Autism at 58, and ADHD shortly after.

Together, these create a particularly maddening paradox. My autistic side craves routine and perfection; my ADHD side rejects structure and needs novelty. One part wants to obsessively control outcomes; the other rebels the minute anything feels like a “have to.”

I have a name for this self-sabotaging loop: self-led demand avoidance. That means I don’t even need someone else placing demands on me. I’ll rebel against my own goals. It’s not procrastination—it’s internalized resistance.

I want to do the thing. I try too hard to do the thing. Trying too hard creates stress. Stress leads to shutdown. I don’t do the thing.

Sound familiar?

At Like Minds, We See This All the Time

At Like Minds Alliance, our peer coaching model is built specifically for people like me—people with undiagnosed or late-diagnosed neurodivergence. We focus on what we call “Spectrum First” coaching. That means we don’t pathologize your behavior—we decode it.

You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re likely operating with a different kind of brain that isn’t built for conventional productivity advice.

"I want to do the thing. I try too hard to do the thing. Trying too hard creates stress. Stress leads to shutdown. I don’t do the thing."

That’s where STTH comes in. For our clients, this simple reminder becomes a vital recalibration: Stop Trying Too Hard. Trying harder often means spinning your wheels. Trying differently? That’s where the gold is.

So what does “trying differently” look like?

AuDHD-Friendly Productivity Hacks That Actually Work

Give Your Brain a Place to Land

Your working memory isn’t bad—it’s just overloaded. That’s why I start each day (or end the night) with a brain dump. This isn't a list of chores; it’s a mental release valve.

Write everything down: ideas, to-dos, worries, grocery items, email reminders. Get it out of your head and onto paper. Or your phone. Or a whiteboard. I use ChatGPT (on my phone I use the Voice activated and I call her Annie) Whatever works.

Then prioritize:

• Will accomplishing this make everything else easier or irrelevant?

• If I only finished this today, would I be satisfied?
  

Pick 1–3 of those and make them the day’s focus. And yes, one of them can be “take a shower.” (Author Tim Ferris has an excellent overview of this in some of his work).

This practice creates external accountability and relieves cognitive load—two things neurodivergent brains desperately need.

Start Easy, Not Hard: Eat the Ice Cream, Not the Frog

We’ve all heard the phrase “eat the frog”—do the hardest thing first.

Yeah… no.

That advice was written for brains that thrive on delayed gratification. For AuDHDers, starting with something easy or dopamine-boosting builds momentum that lets us eventually face the frog.

Think of it as “warming up” your executive functioning.

• One-click emails

• Making the bed

• A 5-minute walk

• A music video you love

This “easy win” gets your dopamine flowing. Then you can snowball your way into harder stuff. And if you don’t? You still did something.

Timers Are Your Time Machine

ADHD time blindness is real. You think 5 minutes passed—it’s been 2 hours. Or vice versa.

Timers are your secret weapon.

Use the Pomodoro technique (25 minutes on, 5 off), or do what I call “dopamine sprints”—set a timer for 15 or 20 minutes and race the clock.

The goal isn’t perfection. It’s momentum.

Don’t wait for motivation. Create urgency artificially. And when the timer rings, stop—especially if you were hyperfocusing.

Timers give you permission to start and permission to stop. Both are equally important.

Sound Strategy: The Right Noise at the Right Time

AuDHDers often perform best with the right kind of audio input. It provides rhythm, blocks distractions, and enhances focus.

Try:

• Lo-fi playlists, Binaural Beats

• Instrumental film scores (Interstellar my favorite)

• Brown or white noise

• Podcasts or audiobooks

Avoid lyrics (especially songs you love). And experiment—you’ll notice your brain “locks in” with the right soundtrack.

Sound becomes a cue: it’s time to work.

Why "Stop Trying Too Hard" Works

Because trying too hard means:

• Overthinking

• Over-planning

• Creating pressure

• Triggering demand avoidance

• And eventually… shutting down
  

Trying less hard doesn’t mean giving up—it means letting go of neurotypical standards.

It means resetting when your brain spirals. It means doing one thing instead of ten. It means building a bridge to your capacity instead of forcing it to conform.

At Like Minds, this is the philosophy that powers our coaching:

• Self-compassion over shame

• Adaptation over conformity

• Sustainability over perfection
  

We help people design their own toolkit based on how their brain actually works.

Final Thought -- Productivity Isn’t the Point

We chase productivity because we think it proves we’re good enough.

But here's the truth: you are already enough.

Productivity isn't your worth. It's a means to an end—connection, fulfillment, purpose.

If "Stop Trying Too Hard" lets you show up for your life more fully, that’s the win.

So tape it to your screen. Say it out loud (maybe not so loud as to confuse your employer). Whisper it into your coffee.

STTH. The simplest hack I know. And maybe the most profound.

Like Minds Alliance offers peer-based neurodivergent coaching built around understanding your brain, not fixing it. We offer 1:1 coaching, group programs, and a workbook rooted in our SPENNTT philosophy (Spectrum First, Nutrition Next, Then Therapeutics). Learn more at www.likemindsalliance.org.