“Why Am I Always So Tired?” — Understanding Autistic Fatigue and the Power of Knowing Why
- david206546
- May 22
- 3 min read
By David Wetherelt, Founder, Like Minds Alliance
For most of my life, I felt like I was swimming upstream. I could power through the current some days — even sprint — but eventually, I’d collapse. Burnout became familiar. I was constantly tired, overwhelmed by life, misunderstood by others, and — perhaps most painfully — misunderstood by myself.
And I didn’t know why.
Years later, I would finally receive a diagnosis of Autism and ADHD — a revelation that changed everything. My son, Matias, would later be diagnosed as well. And suddenly, things that had never made sense… did. Not just for me, but for both of us. The fatigue, the shutdowns, the sensory overload, the difficulties in social situations — these weren’t character flaws. They were neurological realities.
The Invisible Weight of Not Knowing
Before diagnosis, I did what so many undiagnosed Autistic individuals do: I masked. I became whoever I thought others wanted me to be. In professional meetings, I was charming and competent. At home, I was withdrawn and exhausted. Every interaction, every task, every room with buzzing lights or ticking clocks or layers of unspoken social rules was like running a silent marathon with no water stations.
Matias, even as a child, mirrored so many of the struggles I had carried in silence. The exhaustion after school. The need for deep rest after social interactions. The constant, invisible calculations required just to “seem normal.” I recognized those signs — because I had lived them too.
Why Autistic People Are So Tired
If you’re neurodivergent and asking yourself “Why am I always so tired?” — you are not alone. And there are real, scientific answers that can help shift that inner voice from “What’s wrong with me?” to “There’s a reason — and I’m allowed to rest.”
Here’s what we now know:
🧠 Autistic people use up to 42% more cognitive energy just performing everyday tasks or social interactions. That’s nearly half again as much energy as a neurotypical person — just to show up and function.
🧠 Masking — the act of hiding or suppressing Autistic traits to fit in — is exhausting. Hull et al. (2017) found that masking is linked to increased psychological distress, anxiety, and depression. A full 70% of autistic adults said masking harmed their mental health.
🧠 Social interactions require manual effort. Unlike neurotypicals, Autistic people often have to consciously process social cues. That means scripting conversations, decoding facial expressions, monitoring tone of voice, and managing body language — all while trying to regulate internal sensory responses. It’s not socializing. It’s performance. And it takes a toll.
🧠 The Autistic brain experiences heightened sensory activity, particularly around sound and light (Robertson & Baron-Cohen, 2017). Green et al. (2015) showed that Autistic people often have less ability to “tune out” background noise or distractions, which leads to constant sensory bombardment.
🧠 Task switching can be 30–50% more mentally costly for autistic individuals. Shifting from one activity to another — something that might seem minor — can cause genuine mental fatigue.
When we understand these realities, the question becomes not “Why are we so tired?” but “How did we push through for so long without understanding why?”
From Surviving to Understanding — and Thriving
Today, Matias and I live with a very different level of awareness. We still have challenges — sensory overwhelm doesn’t disappear with a diagnosis — but we approach them with self-compassion and informed strategies. We talk openly about needing recovery time after social events. We honor each other’s need for space, silence, and structure.
Knowing our brains are wired differently allows us to stop pretending, stop blaming ourselves, and start advocating for the accommodations and rhythms that help us thrive. We no longer apologize for needing breaks. We no longer call ourselves lazy. We recognize the neurological cost of existing in a world not built for our kind of brain — and we rest without guilt.
You Are Not Lazy. You Are Tired. And That’s Okay.
If you relate to these signs — if you feel constantly drained, socially exhausted, or sensory-saturated — please know: there is nothing wrong with you. Your brain is working overtime in ways the world often fails to see. That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.
The Like Minds Alliance exists for exactly this reason — to help neurodivergent people understand their brains, reclaim their energy, and connect with others who get it. You are not alone in this.
So the next time you ask yourself, “Why am I always tired?” — pause. Breathe. Know that your tiredness is real, and so is your strength. You’ve made it this far. Now let’s walk the next stretch of the journey together, with understanding, compassion, and community.
We see you. We are you. And we are stronger together.
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Join the Conversation Do you relate to this post? What’s your experience with autistic fatigue or masking? We’d love to hear your story.
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