Taking Control: Breathing and Thinking for Neurodivergent Individuals

For most of my life, I lived in what I now call “automatic mode.” Breathing happened. Thinking happened. I didn’t question either. I didn’t even know I could.

I was in my fifties before I was diagnosed with Autism, ADHD-C, and Irlen Syndrome. Until then, I thought the intense overwhelm, the anxiety that came from nowhere, and the mental exhaustion after the simplest social interaction—that was just me. It was just life. I had no idea I was navigating the world with a highly sensitive nervous system and a brain wired differently.

And because I didn’t know, I had no idea that I could do anything about it. But here’s the truth that changed everything: I can take control of my thinking. I can take control of my breathing. When I do, even for just a few moments each day, everything shifts.

Breathing and Thinking Will Happen Without You — But They’ll Run the Show

Breathing and thinking are automatic processes. Your lungs expand and contract. Your thoughts come and go. You don’t have to direct them. However, for those of us who are neurodivergent—whose brains are constantly scanning for threats or trying to manage overwhelming stimuli—letting these things “just happen” can become a prison.

For decades, I lived on high alert. My breathing was shallow and rapid, stuck in the upper chest—classic signs of being in fight, flight, or freeze. My thinking? It mirrored this reactivity. I didn’t notice the loops. I didn’t realize I was catastrophizing. I didn’t know I could choose a different thought. My brain was like a runaway train, and I was just hanging on.

Luckily, I found yoga. I discovered breathwork and Internal Family Systems. I began to find myself.

The Science Behind the Shift

There’s real science behind why this matters. When you breathe deeply and slowly—especially when you extend your exhale—you send a signal to your body that you’re safe. This activates your parasympathetic nervous system, calming the fight-or-flight response that’s often stuck “on” for people like us.

Research shows that controlled breathing can reduce anxiety, lower cortisol, and improve attention (Jerath et al., 2006; Lehrer et al., 2003). Breathwork practices like box breathing or coherent breathing (around 5–6 breaths per minute) stimulate the vagus nerve, helping regulate mood and increase focus.

It’s not just about the body, though. Practices like mindfulness and cognitive reframing help us gain agency over our thoughts—interrupting spirals of fear, judgment, and overwhelm that many neurodivergent adults experience daily. One study by Fox et al. (2016) even found that meditation practices can lead to measurable changes in brain structure related to cognitive flexibility and emotion regulation.

Breath and Thought: The Two Pillars of My Self-Regulation

At Like Minds, we coach people like us—those who’ve lived for years without knowing why they felt so different, so exhausted, and so out of control. We keep things simple and focus on giving our peers new strategies and new perspectives.

One of the biggest shifts we help people make is understanding this: You don’t have to be at the mercy of your brain or your breath. You can take the wheel and become the pilot.

Breathe with intention, think with clarity.

I’ve gone from being a passenger in my own nervous system to becoming the driver. Not all the time—this takes practice. In high-stress or high-conflict moments, I’ve acquired tools I never had before. I know when to pause. I know when to breathe. I even know when to redirect my thoughts with the acknowledgment, “This isn’t truth—it’s just noise.”

That realization is not just empowering—it’s lifesaving.

Simple Steps for Immediate Change

If any of this resonates with you, remember—you’re not alone. You don’t need to climb a mountain to start changing your inner world.

Here are three simple things you can try today:

1. Breathe Like You Mean It

   Try this now: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, and then exhale for 6. Repeat that for just two minutes. This simple technique can help rewire your system over time.

   
   

2. Name Your Thoughts

   The next time you catch yourself spiraling, try labeling it. Say, “This is worry.” “This is catastrophizing.” Labeling helps create enough distance to choose a different response.

   
   

3. Schedule a Mental Reset

   Set a timer once or twice a day for a quick breath check and thought check. Ask yourself, “Am I breathing shallowly?” “What’s my inner voice saying?” Awareness is the first step toward change.

   
   

Like Minds: Helping You Steer the Ship

At Like Minds, our whole mission is to help people like you—and like me—learn how to work with their unique brains instead of against them. We do that through peer coaching, simple frameworks, community support, and compassionate tools that work in the real world.

You don’t need to be fixed. You don’t need to be less sensitive. You just need the right strategies.

I once believed something was wrong with me. Now, I understand that something was missing: Agency. Insight. Tools. Breath. Space. Grace.

If you’re nodding along while you read this, know that there’s a way forward. It starts with your next breath, your next thought, and your next choice.

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References & Suggested Reading

1. Jerath et al. (2006) – Physiology of long pranayamic breathing: neural respiratory elements may provide a mechanism that explains how slow deep breathing shifts the autonomic nervous system

• Link to abstract – PubMed

2. Lehrer, Vaschillo & Vaschillo (2003) – Resonant frequency biofeedback training to increase cardiac variability

• Link to article – Springer

3. Porges, Stephen W. (2011) – The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation

• Book info – W.W. Norton & Company

4. Fincham et al. (2023) – Breathwork interventions and mental health outcomes: A systematic review

• Summary from APA or access via Journal of Clinical Psychology – Wiley

5. Sargunaraj & Ramaraj (2016) – Effect of diaphragmatic breathing on attention in children with ADHD

• Related research topic – Indian Journal of Psychiatry (This specific article is representative; original study is not fully indexed online.)

6. Fox et al. (2016) – Is meditation associated with altered brain structure? A systematic review and meta-analysis of morphometric neuroimaging in meditation practitioners

• Link to article – Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews (Elsevier)

7. Emerson, Sharma, Chaudhry & Turner (2015) – Trauma-Sensitive Yoga: Principles, Practice, and Research

• Summary and access – International Journal of Yoga Therapy